The Lioness, The Wimp, and the Old Warhorse

     Dear Abby Fool, 

My husband and I were married in our new home. My mother-in-law, “Minerva,” became extremely offended when she was not allowed to spend our wedding night here in the house with us.

This is my husband’s second marriage, and Minerva was within earshot of my husband and his first wife on their wedding night.

I say, cut the cord and respect our right to be alone on our special night. What do you say, Abby Fool?

     -New Bride in Pittsburgh (Dear Abby, 11/4/2005)

     Dear New Bride,

I am not entirely clear what the problem is.  Is it that you’re loud in bed?  Does your mother-in-law stay in your new home regularly?  Is she homeless?  Frankly, this relationship sounds so weird, when you talk about your husband cutting the cord, I am not entirely sure there isn’t a literal cord involved.  And getting married in the home, and then staying there that night:  No nice wedding, no honeymoon.  What is up with you guys?

If your mother-in-law wanted to stay in your home on your wedding night, you should have let her…and spent the night in a hotel.  This woman does not seem familiar with the idea of boundaries. 

Your husband let his mother go on his first honeymoon with him.  I don’t think you’re going to get much help from him; clearly, he has a spine of jelly.  To keep her away from your home, you have to make her want to stay away.  If mother-in-law Minerva insists on living with the two of you, I suggest you lock her in the basement until she changes her mind.

     -The Fool has spoken.